Piranha 3DD (2012) Review by Shivom Oza – The DDs Stand For Dumb and Depressing

1/5 Stars

After unleashing terror at Lake Victoria in ‘Pirhana 3D’, the pre-historic shoal of blood-thirsty piranhas infest into a newly-built waterpark, suggestively titled ‘The Big Wet’. Brace yourself for lots of nudity, blood and gore!

Young Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) returns home for the summer to find her sleazy stepfather Chet (David Koechner) give her mother’s water park a debauched make-over, replacing the lifeguards with strippers and building a separate adult pool where all the nude action is getting shot secretly. He’s even been illegally pumping water from an unused well that is also connected to the tragedy-struck and piranha-infested Lake Victoria. The piranhas obviously find their way into the vicinity and hence, begin the saga of relentless attacks resulting in blood and gore.

The performances of the principal star-cast are poor. The dialogues are bland and unfunny, and are made to sound all the more abominable by the spiritless cast. There is a lot of sleaze in the film. Every ten minutes, you see close-ups of heaving breasts of scantily-clad women at the water park. Even after one of the characters gets beheaded owing to a sharp metal wire, the camera refuses to move away from the jumping assets and plunging cleavages. You have a scene in which one of the girls Ashley (Meagan Tandy) handcuffs her boyfriend to the seat of a van, which then plunges headlong into a nearby lake, and you see the wretched piranhas getting in the middle of their sexual act, with the boy unable to escape because he’s tied up. In multiple sequences, you have a piranha gnashing into the private parts of several female tourists, with one such incident even causing a boy to chop off his penis because he engaged in sexual activity with one such victimized girl. Such senseless stuff is on offer folks, relish it if you can! There’s even a cameo by David Hasselhoff spoofing his ‘Baywatch’ act, caricaturizing his character from the popular TV show. He looks out of sorts. Don’t blame him, coz the film itself is a bit out of sorts! Danielle Panabaker and Matt Bush (who plays Barry) are disappointing. Considering, there was not much for either of the youngsters to do in this film, they were miserable in whatever they did. David Koechner is an eye-sore. So, you get the gist, the only animated elements in this film are the piranhas and the assets!

The 3D, backed up with dramatic background music (Elia Cmiral) did bring up a bit of hysteria in a handful number of scenes, involving the piranhas. The CGI is good, not great, and at no point does it look undercooked. The cinematography (Alexandre Lehmann) along with the editing (Martin Bernfeld and Devin C. Lussier) is a big let-down though. No qualms with nudity being shown on screen, but it should be tailored into the sequence and not thrown in for unanticipated titillation. And mind you, the scenes are not titillating, at all. The background music is good in parts, albeit for the violent sequences. The dialogues are senseless, some of the scenes defy logic and human sanity and the screenplay is bizarre!

For a directionless film such as this one, hard to say anything about the man at the helm of it all, John Gulager. He has broken new ground in mediocrity with this film. The first film ‘Piranha’, directed by Alexandre Aja yet was funny in parts, and did manage to give the audiences decent fare. However, this one the 3D version, with the added D, manages to Dumbify the franchise altogether.

The tagline of the film is ‘No BODY is Safe’. It’s short for ‘Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You’!

Cashing in on two aspects – Sex and Violence, but manages to deliver in none! This one is not worth your time, money and energy. Even with the double Ds! (1 Star) (First Posted in MSN)

Shivom Oza

Rock Of Ages (2012) Review by Shivom Oza – Nothin’ But A Good Time

3.5/5 Stars

‘Rock of Ages’ is a story of two aspiring singers and two club owners chasing their dreams in the glitzy city of Los Angeles circa 1987.  How their lives adulterated by the ‘rock n roll’ lifestyle at Hollywood, reach their nadir and faces an upsurge owing to the presence of an eccentric rocker, forms the crux of the film.

An adaptation of the successful Broadway musical, the film revolves around the lives of two aspiring singers Drew (Diego Boneta) and Sherrie (Julianne Hough) dreaming of becoming famous rock stars and slug it out as helps in one of the most popular clubs of Los Angeles, The Bourbon on the Sunset Strip. The owner Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin) and his partner Lonny (Russell Brand) slug it out to save the club from being destroyed by the mayor Mike Whitmore (Bryan Cranston) and his trophy wife doubling up as a social activist, Patricia (Catherine Zeta Jones). The duo at the club scores a gig with the legendary Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise). How all of their lives entwine and as a result undergo unprecedented changes, forms the crux of this 2 hour 20 minute musical extravaganza.

The film boasts of an impressive line-up. Diego Boneta charms in his role of a bartender growing up the ranks to be a rock star. Opposite him is the 20-something girl from Oklahoma, played by Julianne Hough, who ends up at a stripper club instead of being an aspiring singer. The actress shows flashes of brilliance in this challenging role, lip-syncing, romancing and emoting impeccably. Russell Brand is at his comical best and his chemistry with the old-timer Alec Baldwin is a treat for movie-goers. However, the best performance in this film belongs to Tom Cruise. His decadent rock god act deserves praise, not just for its brilliance, but the audaciousness as well. Clearly, this role was an unknown territory for the actor (incidentally, he was already a big movie star in the 1980s with films like ‘Risky Business’, ‘Top Gun’, ‘Rain Man’ and ‘Born On The Fourth Of July’ in his repertoire). He shines as the eccentric, over-the-top and at times impulsive rock singer whose life is embellished by sex and rock n roll (surprisingly, there is no mention or presence of drugs in the film). His look (heavily inspired by Axl Rose) was meant to be theatrical and Cruise looks the part in the film.

The film is an adaptation of the 2006 Chris D’Arienzo Broadway musical of the same name. The screenplay is penned by Justin Theroux, Chris D'Arienzo and Allan Loeb and the story does move along nicely. There are hardly any lull points in the relatively long film (2 hours 20 minutes). Although it is majorly a musical, there are several conversational scenes tailored within the script, hence lending the film a dramatized feel.  The cinematography (Bojan Bazelli) is unique in the sense that the concert scenes are not in-your-face. They have been shot with subtlety, hence making them different from the run-of-the-mill music-based films. Editing (Emma E. Hickox) too, is crisp bringing a lot of fervour to the celebratory film. 

             

With such a stellar cast at his disposal, director Adam Shankman of ‘Hairspray’ fame did have it a bit easy. Having already dabbled in a few musicals, helming this film must’ve been quite easy for Shankman.

Obviously, being a former dancer and choreographer helps too. The director has paid equal attention to all the principal characters in the film and no ‘extra’ mileage is given to the ‘bigger’ stars such as Cruise, Baldwin and Catherine Zeta Jones. The film, in a sense, celebrates the rebellious culture grown on ‘rock n roll’ in the 1980s and Adam executes that to perfection.

The line-up of artistes whose work was incorporated in the film comprised Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, Def Leppard, Foreigner, Journey, Poison, Europe, Night Ranger, Twisted Sister, and REO Speedwagon. Although, the selection of a few tracks could be deliberated upon, the overall soundtrack is impressive.

You have Tom Cruise crooning a ‘Paradise City’, ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’, ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’ while Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin sing ‘Can’t Fight This Feeling’. Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough too, shine in their part pop-part rock numbers. As far as the novelty factor goes, the film does manage to score brownie points in the music department. Overall, it must be said the music did live up to the billing.

The film may not work for the archetypical rock-music aficionados. This is not a ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ nor is it a ‘My Fair Lady’ or ‘The Sound Of Music’. It is purely meant to entertain the moviegoers. This film does enliven the era of the 80s, in a new package, featuring the stars of today. The nostalgia of the 1980s reigns supreme, as the cast delivers emphatic performances to the tunes of  Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, Def Leppard, Foreigner, Journey, Poison, Europe, Night Ranger, Twisted Sister, and REO Speedwagon, top lining the inimitable Tom Cruise in a never-seen-before role.

It’s a fun watch, or to quote on of Poison’s songs ‘Nothin’ but a Good Time’(3.5 Stars)! (First Posted in MSN)

Shivom Oza

Chakradhaar (2012) Review by Shivom Oza - Chakradhaar Stuns, Shocks And Disappoints

1.5/5 Stars

The movie is about the politics and corruption creating havoc in the holy city of Banaras in Uttar Pradesh. Shravan (Abhishek Anand) is a simple and righteous man who revolts against all the corrupt practices going on in Banaras University, where he is pursuing post-graduation. He is also head over heels in love with Principal Shrivastav’s (Darshan Jariwala) daughter Mandira (Urvashi Sharma). His agitation against the miscreants in the college leads to an altercation with the local MLA Dharmraj Chaudhary’s (Akhilendra Mishra) son Devraj Chaudhary (Rajesh Shringarpure) and hence, Shravan gets embroiled into the murky world of hate and violence. The Chaudhary brothers destroy Shravan’s life which transforms him into Pandit, a goon who wages a war against Chaudhary and his brothers Yograj (Yashpal Sharma) and Balraj (Ganesh Yadav) to take revenge. The crux of the film is about how Pandit takes to guns and knives to beat the villains to pulp.

Abhishek Anand, who makes his debut in this film does well in the action scenes, although falters in the romantic sequences. He has got some really good dialogues in the film, which he delivers well. However, his overall performance was far from convincing. The leading lady Urvashi Sharma doesn’t have much to do in this film. She features only in a handful number of scenes, some dramatic, a few emotional and a couple of romantic ones. Although, she was below-par, wouldn’t call her performance awful as such.

The supporting cast comprises a stellar group of actors such as Darshan Jariwala, Govind Namdev (as the righteous Professor Ahuja), Akhilendra Mishra, Yashpal Sharma, Ganesh Yadav, Zakir Hussain (as Sikandar Hyatt) and Vidya Malvade playing the role of a journalist. Although the script falters, these actors shine in their performances lifting the overall film a trifle. Overall, although the plot was overtly predictable, the actors did put up a decent show.

As far as the cinematography is concerned, some of the stunts look brilliant on the big screen, almost comparable to big-ticket films like ‘Dabangg’ and ‘Wanted’. The veteran action director Abbas Ali Moghul has given the lead actor the best of sequences, shot brilliantly by Shakeel A Khan.  However, the weak point of the film lies with the script (written by Arsh), which is very predictable and bland. The editing is crisp, and holds the film well in the first half. However, towards the end, the film does drag a bit.

The direction by Shakur Sir (Yes, 'Sir' is his last name!) and Dharamprakash (D.P.) goes on to show why the film wavers in two different directions. The first half of the film is gripping and manages to hold your attention, but after the interval, the story falters and how. The makers have managed to eke out decent performances from the cast but the overall package is not enticing enough.

The music of the film is average. Although, it has been composed by stalwarts such as Anand Raj Anand and Jatin Pandit, it fails to strike the right chord. All the songs are just about passable with ordinary lyrics (Sameer) and half-decent choreography (Saroj Khan, Jeet Singh). There is the customary item song (a routine in most films these days) by Mariam Zakaria. However, nothing is impressive enough to be etched in the viewers’ memory.

Although the film is tolerable, don’t think it merits the price of a movie ticket. You may give this one a miss.

Despite Decent Performances and Excellent Action sequences, this film is not worth your time and money. 1.5 Stars! (First Posted in MSN)

Shivom Oza

Qasam Se Qasam Se (2012) Review by Shivom Oza - This film disappoints, ‘Qasam Se’!

0.5/5 Stars

‘Qasam Se Qasam Se’ is a film that must be watched by most aspiring filmmakers around the country. The reason is that it offers a 2 and a half hour lesson on ‘How NOT to make a movie’? To amalgamate mediocre acting, lifeless music, meandering story line, inexplicable twists and turns, appalling dialogues and incessant hamming in the same film requires some effort.

Actors of calibre such as Satish Kaushik (who plays Mamu) and Omkar Das Manikpuri (who looks ‘dapper’ in sloganeering T-shirts, Hip Hop caps and baggy trousers throughout the film) are wasted in this apology of a film. Kaushik who has a longish role in the film reprises his hilarious ‘Pappu Pager’ act from ‘Deewana Mastana’, once again but fails to impress.

The leading pair Rohan (played by newcomer Azim) and Faith (played by Faith Mehra) break into a song at some or the other picturesque location after every ‘hard-hitting’ (Yes, it hits you hard!) scene. Such inept acting has seldom been seen on the big screen and the stars of the film scale newer depths. The film is about their love story set in a college. Rohan fights all odds possible to win his ladylove. He gets jailed, beaten up, humiliated, even labelled a terrorist but nothing comes in between the hero and the heroine.

There is Rohan’s friend Vijay (played by Faraaz) who ends up falling in love with the same girl and hell breaks loose. His father DCP Mahadik (Ashwini Kaushal) pulls all strings to nab Rohan. The crux of the film is about how the lovers will come together despite all odds.

The climax is noteworthy, for setting newer standards in storytelling. An interesting revelation towards the end turns the entire film on its head. The problem with the film is that it muddles up too many issues – college rivalry, romance, action, comedy, terrorism, law and order and lastly AIDS awareness. Even the best filmmaker in the country Rajkumar Hirani wouldn’t dare to pull that off!

The music of the film is disappointing. Considering that stalwarts like Neha Bhasin, Kunal Ganjawala, Farhan (from the Pakistani band Jal), Mika, Shaan, Neeraj Shridhar, Mohit Chauhan, KK and Monali Thakur sung for this film, the composer (Shailendra-Sayanti) too, needed to get his act together. The cinematography (Johhny Lal) for the songs was good; the locations played a big part.

The supporting cast too boasted of Mukesh Tiwari, Rakhi Sawant, Satish Kaushik, Omkar Das Manikpuri and a few faces from television, but none of them lived up to their billing.

The director (Ashfaque Makrani) and the writers (Nazim, Moazzam Azm & Ravi Rawat) would have been better off sticking to a conventional storyline rather than convoluting it with nonsensical twists. This film disappoints, ‘Qasam Se’! 0.5 Star! (First Posted in MSN)

Shivom Oza

DJANGO UNCHAINED International Trailer. Watch and Learn.

Customer Service on Social Media: Happy To Help, Really?

Brands have taken to social media channels in a big way, since the last couple of years. Be it Foods, Beverages, Mobile Phone Companies, Service Providers or Restaurants, there is considerable presence on various social networking websites, not only for branding purposes, but for customer service as well.

Times are changing and so are the companies. With the growing popularity of social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn etc., there is the need to be in constant touch with current customers as well as potential customers. In today’s day and age, we know how hassling it can be to encounter a problem with any product. Calling on the customer care, being held on the line for long periods of time, having to explain the same problem to different people from scratch during the same telephonic conversation or in some cases, having to go to their branches and wait for long hours only to inquire/complain about is something is a tedious and a bothersome affair.

Hence, it was imperative for these brands to come on the social-media bandwagon, not just to be in sync with the moving times but to make customer service an easier task for themselves as well as the customer. Some of the leading brands that have prominent presence on social media are Tata Docomo (46,800 followers on Twitter, 7,573,381 likes on Facebook). On the micro-blogging website, they are as active as quicksilver, responding to every 'relevant' query, providing their respondents with contact details as well as conducting follow-ups. The same implies to other service providers such as Vodafone India, Bharti Airtel (19,560 followers on Twitter). Although users do have a problem with the lack of courtesy shown by the account handlers, it is usually a one-off incident. Conclusively, the brands have utilized this particular platform well, providing the users with an easier, quicker way to rectifying their problems. As far as food outlets are concerned, popular ones such as Dominos Pizza India (9,786 followers on Twitter), Cafe Coffee Day (6,540 followers on Twitter), which provide information on new additions to the menu, new offers, contest details, as well as entertain customer queries. Customer service on social media has extended to Digital satellite service providers, electronic appliances, cell phones, hotels and food products as well.

It bodes well, both for the users as well as the companies to maintain a relationship on the virtual world. From the companies' point of view, they get to know, how their customers perceive the brand, and look for areas in improvement. It can also be a staggering tool to improve relations and build brand loyalty as well. From the user's point of view, it can act as a relief that one can approach the companies on the move and expect a swift reply, instead of having to go deal with discourteous executives on the phone.

In the past, when a brand or a company rectified any problem through phone or mail, only the concerned customer knew about it. However, now customers lavish praise on brands for the assistance through social media. Here, the brand stands to gain an added benefit of garnering positive publicity.

Many brands run Twitter, Facebook and YouTube accounts just to embellish their other marketing activities. There is no pre-emptive desire to protect the brand’s interests on social media channels as well. They need to realize that social media is quickly becoming a powerful customer service channel and it should be tapped soon and well.

Social Media is becoming all the more significant, looking at the influx of new technology in the form of smart phones, tablet computers and portable internet.

The old model does not work anymore. Automated replies do not serve the brand of the customer any good. It is imperative for the brands to engage with their customers in a friendly manner in order to expect any goodness in return.

The customer expects quickness in the responses as well as the implementation of results. Also, the last thing the brands want is to be impolite to the customer on a public platform and invite brickbats in return.

Today, social media becomes the last possible alternative for customers who have been troubled with a product/service. So, the brands need not wait for the customer to inquire or complain. They need to keep a track about what it being written or said about their product/service on the social media and accordingly get in touch with the concerned individual.

Customer service is quite an ordeal, even more so owing to the presence of social media. Hence, there needs to be thorough planning and preparation from the company’s side, before they step into this avenue.

To conclude, I would agree that the Indian brands, thus far, have managed to carry out customer service activities through social media very diligently. There have been aberrations, but then, the social media handlers have been helpful, more often than not. However, more attention needs to be meted out to his platform. It is not just about entertaining queries or complaints, but acting upon them as well. Only then, can we say that social media is an effective tool for customer service. 

Shivom Oza

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (2012) Review by Shivom Oza – ‘Circus Americano’ At Its Best

3.5/5 Stars

Alex (the Lion), Marty (the Zebra), Melman (the Giraffe) and Gloria (the Hippo) are back once again to enthral you in the third instalment of the ‘Madagascar’ franchise, ‘Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted’. This time, they travel across continents from Monte Carlo, Rome to London and finally to their beloved abode New York City. And following them on their trail is the hot-headed, super heroic and the conniving French policewoman (Frances McDorman) who fights tooth and nail to capture Alex.

Now, the crux of the story forms when the group of four meet up with the penguins at Rome and en route to the Central Park Zoo at New York City, they meet up with a circus troupe and deliberate their next plan of action.

The artistes giving their voice overs for the principal characters Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Shwimmer and Jada Pinkett Smith are first-rate, escalating upon their acts in the previous two versions.

There are certain sequences in the film that take your breath away, such as the one in which Alex tries to teach the female jaguar Gia a fabricated act christened ‘Circus Americano’. The chemistry that the two beasts exuberate, the background music (the maestro Hans Zimmer at his very best) and the stupendous animation on display make this scene one of the highlights of this crisp yet entertaining 93-minute joyride.

The circus show put on by the animals, the adrenaline-pumping speech delivered by Alex, the camaraderie amongst all of them, the adorable moments shared between Alex and Gia, as well as Sonya the Bear (Frank Welker) and King Julien (by the inimitably hilarious Sacha Baron Cohen) and the colourful circus acts performed to the music of Katy Perry’s hit ‘Firework’ is what make the film all the more inviting.

There are no lull moments in the film. The shortness of its length helps the story move at a breakneck pace, leaving audiences at the edge of their seat throughout. There’s always something or the other relevant happening. Thankfully, no fillers have been incorporated, as is the norm with animated movies. The song selection is stellar from Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ to Yolanda Be Cool’s ‘We Speak No Americano’ to Danny Jacobs’ works topped by a brilliant sound given by the Oscar winning musician Hans Zimmer.

The animation is pristine abled by spectacular 3-D effects. The 3-D does accentuate the overall look of the film, unlike recent fare which doles out its apparent visual effects only to bring in the numbers. DreamWorks Animation has a winner at hand with this one, exhibiting picturesque locations such as Rome, Vatican City, New York and London.

To sum it up, this film is a complete jamboree and brings back delightful memories of the first and the second film. Wait till the end credits, because you cannot take ‘I Like To Move It’ out of a ‘Madagascar’ film.

Want to go on a vacation, folks? This film is your perfect weekend getaway!

The reviewer gives the film 3.5 stars. (First Posted in MSN)

Shivom Oza